Human Chew Toy

>> Thursday, July 2, 2009

I was told to expect this. She will chew everything. Anything and everything she can put in her mouth, she will chew. I had prepared myself for this. Despite the fact that we just bought all new furniture, I had come to realize that a few chew marks would just add character. I'm sure there will be babies in our future and that couch will come to see much worse.

But little did I know, I was to become her favorite chew toy. Picture this. 5:30 in the morning. M has just left for the day, and Bailey makes it know that sleepy time is over. Cut to 5:45 am: Me running down the hall in my fuzzy pink bathrobe, screaming at the puppy foaming at the mouth behind me as she POUNCES at my ankles. And it's not just my ankles that she loves, she also loves my wrists, and has developped a palate for any of my facial features (i.e. nose, chin, lips, etc.).

Now I know I am to be firm, and I am. I have actually practiced numerous ways of saying no. I've tried the spray bottle method (which she loves), I've tapped her on the nose, I have screamed in pain, I've pretty much done everything minus curling up in a ball in the corner, rocking myself to my happy place. Ok, I may have done that as well, but you have no idea how evil she really is!

I've asked for wisdom from co-workers. "This too shall pass" they say as they go to that zen place in their mind where there dog obeys all commands, including starting the morning java before they rise. Yeah right. I'll believe that when I see it. For now I'm forced to go to work wearing long sleeves and pants in the summer to hide the shame.

Did I mention that Bailey is entirely too cute to be even remotely mad at?

A rare moment when evil isn't infiltrating her little body!


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